| Name | Seen First In: | Who s/he is |
| * Farhar, Noel | Backwards | Art museum director. Adverse publicity and review from art critic Montclemens forces him to resign his position. |
| Ferdinand | High | Former wrestler called Ferdie Le Bull. Now houseman, butler, and bodyguard for Miss Adelaide Plumb. |
| * Fetter, Donald | Cheese | Som of Elaine Fetter. Grows shiitake mushrooms as a therapeutic hobby. He's wheelchair-bound because of a car accident. His father was killed in that same accident. |
| * Fetter, Elaine | Cheese | Lives in West Middle Hummock. Takes credit for others accomplishments, such as her son's shiitake mushrooms. She's also a gourmet cook, volunteers at many places, and loves getting her name in the paper. |
| * Fincher, Dan | Closet | Sheriff's deputy, once married to Nancy Fincher. |
| * Fincher, Nancy | Closet | Breeds and races sled dogs. She also helps Qwill with the Big Burning performances after Hixie Rice falls off the stage and breaks her foot. |
| Finney, Rhoda | Ghosts | See Rhoda Tibbitt |
| Fish-eye, Mrs. | Ghosts | Qwill and Arch Riker's high school English teacher. Taught Qwill to be able to write a thousand words on anything with little or no notice. Real name is Martha V. Snyder. |
| * Fitch, Belle Urkle | Glue | Harley's wife from Chipmunk. One of Mrs. Fitch's maids before she and Harley married. Was killed at age 21 in her own home when she was pregnant. |
| Fitch, David | Post Office | Harley's twin brother. Yale graduate. VP at Pickax Bank. Wife is Jill. Very much involved in the theatre club. He's murdered by his brother. |
| Fitch, Harley | Post Office | David's twin brother. Also a VP at the Pickax Bank. Spent a year in prison (vehicular manslaughter, or something along those lines) before he married Belle. Model ship builder. |
| * Fitch, Jill | Glue | David's wife. Designs sets and costumes for the Theatre Club. |
| * Fitch, Margaret | Glue | Nigel's wife. Suffered a stroke and died after hearing about her son and daughter-in-law's murder. |
| Fitch, Nigel | Post Office | President of the Pickax Bank and of the Historical Society. Wife to Margaret. Kills himself after his wife dies from a stroke. |
| Fred, Foxy | Shakespeare | Pickax's auctioneer |
| Frobnitz, Ronald | ? | Qwill's alter ego. Whenever he needs to remain anonymous, or just make up a quick falsehood, this is the name he uses. |
| Fulgrove, Mrs. | Post Office | Qwill's housekeeper. Works six days a week and goes to church three times on Sunday. Likes to complain about cat hair, so Qwill always makes himself scarce when she comes to clean. |
